"Cops" as in the tv show, not the real-life people (who have nothing better than to hang out on Maya Linda Road giving out speeding tickets to people going 28 in a 25 m.p.h. - just saying...).
Anyway, when nothing else on tv satisfies, or Laura and I really need to de-compress, we put on Cops. Most of the time we can find an episode or two (or three or four if we're bored). Now, some of the people they show on it are well, stupid. I mean really...if you're driving while drunk, your ass should NOT be behind a wheel.
Then there are the real winners - and we now have our top 3:
#1 (my favorite) - the cops pull over some guy for some infraction (don't remember what). As they are searching him they find drugs in his pants pocket. He "claims" that "they ain't my drugs". Well, cop #1 says "Well, they're in your pants", so dumb guy "claims" "they ain't my pants!". Oy. Idiot.
#2 (second favorite) - middle class-looking white guy gets pulled over for driving late at night in a well, not very nice part of town. Turns out he had his license suspended for DUI (I think) and he was only able to drive to and from work - ONLY. This was like 11:00 pm, 6 hours after he left work. He claimed he was delivering paperwork to his office. Yeah, right. Cops ask him to step out of the car - and upon searching said car they find some packets of drugs shoved into the side of his seat. Guy claims - "Hey, how did that get there?" Cops also find drugs in his ashtray which he claims "aren't his". His answer though to the drugs shoved into the seat corner...he said (and no, I'm not making this up), he was driving around (you know, after delivering paperwork to his office...) and his windows were down - and then wouldn't you know it, he stated "Some black guy on a bike rode up next to my car and just threw those drugs into my car!" That is idiot #2 - altho I keep driving past the bank with my windows down, you know, in case someone wants to throw some $20's in my car...
#3 (third favorite) - cops pull up to obviously drunk guy walking along the street. He stumbles a bit and cops ask him if he's okay, because you know, he's STUMBLING around. He stated he "didn't trip, he stepped in a gopher hole" - yeah, on the asphalt roadway. Idiot # 3.
Well, it's a fun show to watch nonetheless.